Be Yourself

Be Yourself! Just as long as it is the same as everyone else.

I think it is fair to say that people are often encouraged to be themselves, lead their own lives and accomplish their own goals. It seams often that is where it stops. It seems its the thought that counts and not the action.

When you start being yourself, doing things your way, not following the line all of a sudden people try to steer you back into the groove they know and understand. It like everyone wants to tell you to be yourself and work towards your own dreams, but only so long as they are the same things that the person has imagined for you.

As soon as you start doing what makes you happy, if it is not well defined and easily understood, suddenly being yourself didn’t mean that, suddenly being yourself meant doing the obvious thing, be it getting a job, settling down, if you actually desire adventure, working at something big but not immediate, suddenly that is no longer supported, no longer considered worthy of you being yourself anymore, now you need to be fixed, you need to be guided to finding yourself again.

Its like asking someone what they want for breakfast, you’re cooking. They say they would like a full English breakfast. At which point you realize you aren’t in the mood for making that and you respond with “I was thinking of making oats!”.

You have no presented a choice to the other party, they can be demanding and selfish and insist on a full English breakfast as they were given the option of choosing, or they can submit and answer, “ya oats is ok”.

That is the same as “Be Yourself”, as long as it means getting a job, settling down and not expecting much out of life!”.

It would seem people want to come across as caring about your thoughts and feelings, but they might also want to make sure your thoughts and feelings are in line with theirs.

I can understand that when someone doesn’t understand your ambitions they may thing or feel you are not likely to succeed, but if they actually did care shouldn’t they rather try to understand rather than trying to get you to give up on your dreams and end up having a miserable life?

It like you say “I hate my job!”, to which the people who care about you say “Oh no! that is terrible, you should find something you love.”

So you decide changing career, suddenly they say “Oh no! Wouldn’t you rather just find a position doing the same job but at another company, or better yet, carry on exactly as you are but take on a hobby on the weekends, that’ll suffice.”

The solution you have come up with seems too extreme for them to comprehend and now they no longer support you being yourself, finding your own direction, turns out you are not responsible enough for that, but don’t worry they are there for you to turn you into exactly who they think you should be and that will make you happy. If not, hey there is always medication or therapy, have you considered those? oh you’re already on them, well maybe go see about getting your dosage adjusted.

I like to imagine a world where “Be Yourself” means just that, that the people who are a part of your life will help you to succeed at the things that make you you and not try and find parts of themselves to clone onto you.

It is much easier to be a part of someones life when they are living their life in a way that you understand, when they are already a part of your life and start doing things you don’t understand if feels like it is easier to get them to change than to try and understand what they want to do.

Now that isn’t to say that you should just support anything they might want to do, if your best friend turns around and says they are tired of the rate race and no longer want to be in it and would like to change career. Supporting their decision is a good thing to do.

If they say their new career choice is to be a drug mule, or drug dealer, that may not be a good idea, and I can understand where the hesitation to support them and the encouragement to follow another path may come from.

If they want to stop designing websites and grow organic tomatoes, what is wrong with that? Just because it is not immediately understandable where they will earn money from does not mean it is a bad idea, there may be a huge market for organic tomatoes, and there is the possibility of expanding that idea to grow full organic salads. So why should they then be encouraged away from that, their passion and dream to rather just changing the company they work for?

When you love doing something, and are doing it in an environment that makes you happy, your life feels fulfilled, you are at one with the universe, and isn’t that worth so much more than hating 90% of your life so you can pretend to enjoy the 10% you are left with?

So lets all try to be a little more understanding and supportive where we can of helping people to live a life that makes them happy rather than a life we think they should be happy with. Let us mean it when we say “Be Yourself”.